Another year has passed

I had started to write for this blog because I wanted to tell you something before the second year I spent alone was over. I wanted to describe my feelings... but I realised that nothing has truly changed since last year.

If you read what I've written one year ago you'll know what I'm feeling now.

I just have a few addition to make to that.

First of all a huge thank you to those friends who are helping me. Not only the ones who are there with their words or with a pat on my back when I need one. I mean those friends who are actually sending me money each month to pay the bills. Without them I would literally be starving in a cold house.

I would because the person described in this article and who has cheated the people talking in this TV programme... had cheated Alberto and me since 2007 (possibly earlier). That's why I am involved in a trial that will (I hope) end with the total restoration of my fiscal position... but this will happen in many years time. During the first hearing in November the only thing that's been decided was the date of the second hearing, in May! In the meantime I have to repay everything to Equitalia.

The "Ammiragliato Cloud" project has not helped me much. Just a few of those items had been sold. But sooner or later I will learn how to organise a permanent garage sale. A lifetime ago friends came to San Michele to celebrate Alberto's birthday, now I hope people will come to take care of Alberto's things that I have to sell.

My only true hope came about because of Doctor Who! I didn't want to be involved in the supervision of the TV series Italian dubbing but when I was involved as a paid professional, I had to change my mind and do it. I translated the new Capaldi series willingly, don't misunderstand me, but doing it alone (meaning... without Alberto) has been really hard.

Despite that I welcomed the opportunity because it's been the first job I landed in many many months. It's not a steady job (in this very moment I'm again doing absolutely nothing!) but it's a chance. Much better than all those opportunities I read in my constant search for jobs - I think I sent abount 3000 CVs in Italy and abroad so far... to no avail.

Last but not least I want to mention the only thing (beside having friends) who is helping me - the Futura mission of Samantha Cristoforetti! It's hard to enjoy her wonderful log entries knowing that Alberto is not here with me, but I know he would have been so proud! So very proud!

I hope you'll live happy end-of-year holidays. Please don't call me or wish me the same - the only thing you could wish me is for these days to pass as fast as they can!

The Doctor Alberto never knew

This is one of the many things I would have liked to share with Alberto. I wish I could have chatted with him about the new series of Doctor Who, the choice of the actor, the new stories, Clara...

Alberto never knew Clara was not just "the soufflè girl". Never knew Matt Smith left the role, never lived the anticipation for the new name, never had the chance to wait for Peter Capaldi's first appearance.

I will never know what Alberto might think of all this, and I will never have the chance to tell Alberto how much I like this new regeneration, and all the little nuances I loved in his first episode...

Piano.

I am alone now...

Me!

I was talking to the horse!

I am Scottish. I can complain about things.

An egomaniac, needy, game-player sort of person.

Oh, look! He's recharging.

Oh. I hate being wrong in public.

Does that make it different from any other restaurant? You weren't vegetarian the last time
I checked.

I thought you might appreciate a drink first. I know I would.

You probably can't even remember where you got that face from.

What do you think?

I'm right here... standing in front of you. Please, just... just see me.

Some coffee or... chips or... something, or chips and coffee?

Steven Moffat wrote some great lines for the Doctor, and Peter Capaldi delivered them in a great way.
But I know that Alberto would have probably shaken his head if I told him that I like Peter Capaldi's Doctor also because he has grey hair...

#IceBucketChallenge

Challenge accepted!
[Edit: Thanks Paolo, Elena & Elena for your help!]



Donate for ALS (I said asl in the video, sorry!).

I nominate Federica "Stark", my two good Klingon friends Gabriele & Michela and Giank!

[Edit: Oh... I forgot... this is the screenshot of my donation.]

13 agosto 1964

Buon compleanno, amore mio!

Selling again! (Descriptions in Italian)

Alberto's collection will not be touched, as I said earlier, but there are a lot of things that are gathering dust around the house because I don't use them anymore. A few of them are still on this blog, some are on eBay, but some more... well I'd rather have friends to have them. So, priority is to you!
Contact me if you want something.

TV Hanspree 37" HD. Acquistato a febbraio 2008 pagandolo (allora) 499 euro. Senza sintonizzatore interno.
http://www.directtvs.co.uk/Hannspree_37_Inch_LCD_HD_Television_JT02-37E2-000G_/version.asp

Giradischi Stanton. Ha ancora il cartellino del prezzo: 109,00 euro. Completo di testina e puntina.
http://www.djresource.eu/Gearbase/gear/1357/Stanton-STR8-20/

Amplificatore Pioneer stereo, usato per amplificare lo Stanton. http://www.pioneer.eu/it/products/archive/A-209R/page.html

Spade laser giocattolo. Non ho provato a cambiare le batterie interne, ma quella di Vader... si accende ancora e fa sia luce che i suoni.

eBay time

I had hoped most of these items would have gone to friends, but alas... I have to broaden the search. Bit by bit I will transfer all the items showed here to eBay.
And I will add more in days to come. I'll keep you posted!

These are the items I'm selling so far on eBay.

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

vai su eBay

vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Vai su eBay

Birthdays - part II

I already wrote how I feel about celebrations, but I better repeat myself.

August 13th is less than a month away and I know most of you will love to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Alberto's birth. Well, you're more than welcome to do it, and if you want to do it at the Ammiragliato, please do. I'm never distressed by people celebrating Alberto's life.
Except... I won't be there.

For me it would simply be impossible to celebrate and be happy, and even the simplest of smile would be too great an effort.
So I won't be at home.
I don't know where I will be - probably just shooting photos on Tagliamento's embankment or in some natural park or on some solitary beach (although I still have to figure out which beach will be solitary around Ferragosto) - but I can't stay at home on those days.

Bottom line is... if you feel like celebrating please don't let me stop you. Just forgive me because I'll not be there with you.

Universal, why don't you... just say so?

When Alberto died, one of the most excruciating and wonderful things I had to do was keeping up his good work. It was actually "our" work, but - as I said far too often - I always considered myself to be his Number One. So... just like we say "Picard's ship" or "Kirk's crew", I kept (and keep) saying "Alberto's STIC" or "Alberto's job".

It was excruciating, because without him I had to re-invent a daily routine on my own.
It was wonderful because carrying on the job we did together was one of the few things that made me feel alive.
Despite lots of practical problems (not the least of it was... to find the passwords for his work accounts!), I managed to keep our schedule and deliver my workload on time since the very week after his death.

For those who don't know, our main job as a graphic agency was to localise DVD covers for Paramount Pictures Home Entertainment. A job which started when someone (Dario, we'd never forgotten you) thought that it would have been much better to exploit our professional skill as a graphic agency rather than have us supervising the work of another graphic agency!
And when PHEI in Italy was closed by its US headquarter, we continued our work for Universal Pictures Italy.

In essence our job was to transform this...

into this!

A pretty complex job in practice, but I won't bore you telling all the technical nuances nor the various stages that precedes and follows the actual translation. Suffice to say that we localised all Paramount catalogue and new releases - from the box set of Il Padrino Edizione da collezione to I Pinguini di Madagascar La giornata di Re Julien.
 The Avengers was one of the latest localizations Alberto did before Marvel started to be distributed in Italy by Disney.
And of course we localised the whole bunch of Star Trek products, DVDs and Blu-rays alike.

In March, last year, Universal called me in their office in Rome. They had been supportive with me during those first months and I will never forget the voice of our good friend Enrico when I heard from him after Alberto's death. But that was not a social gathering - I was there to talk work!
They asked me if I was OK with their decision to give me POPs instead of packaging for all products except Star Trek, for which they still deferred to me since I was the remaining expert of the franchise. In simpler terms they wanted me to localize posters and stand ups instead of DVD covers for Paramount movies and TV series (while I would work on everything Star Trek).
I say yes - it was just a slightly different job. No big deal!
Except that...
Since then, they asked me to localise... two posters! No explanations given.

OK, no problem. They just decided to let go on my services and prefer some other agency. I didn't resent them - this is part of the risk of being self employed. Whether you're good or not, there is always someone else who can do the same job for less money, or for the same money but quicker... or simply someone who is better known by those who decide which agency to outsource the job.

I still had Star Trek! That was the important thing.

In more than one year working alone I localised all Italian products for the Blu-rays of The Next Generation (third season on) and Enterprise (only the first two seasons... as we sadly know!), the special box set release of the movies in DVD and also every Italian box for Into Darkness, including a special bespoken box-set. My latest job was for the upcoming sixth season of TNG and in a few week I would start working of the seventh. Beyond the personal working commitment, I was about to start a few events to help promoting the Star Trek home video products.

Hopefully I still will, but I'm not so sure anymore.

Because today I discovered that Universal just used another graphic agency for updating Star Trek Italian products and providing Italian logos for STID!
I am appalled!

I'm starting to wonder why Universal didn't chose me to do those simple updating jobs. I can fully understand a change of agency for any other product. But... why taking Star Trek away from me?
My agency prices are the same as they were eight years ago so it can't be a matter of money (and besides... I am ready to lower my prices, and even do it for free if necessary).
My graphic and translating skills are the same as they ever were, so it's not a matter of quality.
I always worked over nights and weekends for any product, but more so for Star Trek, so it's not a matter of speed in delivery the job.
And it's not certain about the good of the product - because if there is one thing (and this is the *only* thing) I'm not humble about, it's the knowledge of Star Trek inside and out. After more than 25 years spent nurturing Star Trek in Italy and knowing how every tiny detail is important, who better than me to handle the Star Trek franchise?

So why?
Universal, maybe you don't want to have anything to do with me as a fan or as a woman or as a... whatever? Because if this is the case... why don't you... just say so?
I guess I will discover soon enough. If Season Seven of TNG will not be done by me I will know for sure that Alberto's "era" has truly ended.

Oh, one last thing... for my friends. Don't be silly! If you stop buying DVDs or Blu-rays of movies or series you like just because you think Universal "don't deserve it", the only people you're punishing is yourself!

Ammiragliato Cloud... no more!

"I don't know what I should do, I know what I can do!"

To be honest I know what I should do and that is - as I rationally stated a few months ago - give Alberto's mementoes to friends in order to have them saved, away from the long evil grasp of Equitalia.

But... I can't. I started selling all those things that I haven't the gut to use without him (and some of them are already on eBay), but when I started opening his drawers and wardrobes where he put books and memorabilia... well, I could not touch one thing. Not one.
I'm still not used to the idea of the "Ammiragliato Cloud" so... forget it!

I am striving to keep the debts at bay, working day and night on as many thing as I can, and not a day passes without me sending away at least three CVs. So... as long as I can go on like this, Alberto's collections will stay here! In his home!

I may be not rational, nor logic, but that's what I can do!
And that's what I will do!

Experimenting

Last year I discover how comfortable is to have short hair. And by "short" I mean... well, just look at my profile picture!
It's comfortable because you're not messed up when you wake up in the morning, you can forget the comb after you take off your helmet after a motorbike ride, you spend less time in the shower (and use much less shampoo and other environmental-damaging products) and you don't have to use the hairdryer - not even in winter.

Last year I cut my hair because stress was taking the toll on them and I was loosing them fast, so it was either having expensive applications or... cut them!
Being lazy, and listening to friends who said to me that I looked ill, I put the razor aside and let my hair grow again. But, alas, they kept falling. I resolved to cut them again, sooner or later. And I choose the day I turned 50 to cut them.

This was not a random choice.
I was 20 in 1984 and for me that was a momentous year for many reasons. Punk rock was declined by then, but the long wave of it was still high in Italy. Back then I could not experiment with my look and hair as much as I wanted to, but now I can!
Besides, Alberto and I shared a personal promise to each other (that I won't say) and that promise was comprehensive of the haircut that you will see in a few days time.
For now...

Enjoy my "Punk-ish" experiments!

My new Facebook avatar!

I know what I'm thinking!

I admit it... I photoshopped the colours. That's only because I didn't want to waste time and money colouring my hair when I'll be cutting them again soon!

There's more to what we see

Sometime it's just a matter of setting yourself in the right mood and you can discover a whole bright and wonderful world just outside your window!

This, for me, has been one of those days.

 
I wanted to be out in the sun, out of my home, away from human voices because today I can't hear the only voice I wanted to hear, Alberto's.
So I took our faithful Yamaha Majesty and... on the road I was.



 

Yes, I had some things to buy in the town nearby, but after I hit the road I knew that was just an excuse. What I really wished for was to listen to the silence broken just by the engine roar.

If I knew how to ride and a horse cost less than a motorbike I would have used a horse.
And since I had Alberto's camera with me, I used it, thus discovering some of the most beautiful sceneries and details I've ever seen in this area.

 This road could be in every country of Europe and no one could tell!

No... I didn't reach Venice. Not today! This is Bibione harbour. It's a pity that, to take the picture, I had to go through a restaurant parking to a private quay trying to ignore the luxury yachts moored there!

Bibione Beach. Yes, there is no sand here. Indeed... there is sand, but it's on the far left, out of the image, and scattered by unaware suntanning tourists.

And just beyond those trees here lies the muddy estuary of the river Tagliamento, full of wooden treasures.
 

You can see a rocky face torn by a deep river or (as it is) the battered trunk of a tree, so fascinating it's mesmerising.












And there is more water, of course.

With ducklings looking for their mom...

... and fishes idly slithering among the seaweeds.

Tunnels of Mediterranean pines shading the road toward home from the bright and hot sun...

And finally, the road toward home!

Go out around your house once in a while, and watch your world and its hidden beauty. What's out there is much more interesting than what we superficially see.






Oh... one last thing... once home, I begun experimenting with my hair... Here's me a little "punk"... just a little...