The needs of the many

To almost quote one of the best written Star Trek line, said by Spock in the final original cast movie... "Is it possible that I have grown so old and so inflexible that I have outlived my usefulness?"
My answer is: "Yes, I have!"

Lately my working rhythm has slowed down dramatically, for the very few "real jobs" and for all STIC-related things. I cannot concentrate and I quadrupled the time I spend in writing articles, translate or reading and replying to emails.
And when resentment kicks in, things get worse - resentment for things that I should not resent at all!
Decisions taken without consulting me, people who tell me one thing and then do the opposite, discussion of details that once I felt they were completely unimportant. I feel that whenever I have an idea, the opposite is smoother or cheaper or simply  better!
The logical conclusion is that my attitude is old fashioned, my ideas old and outdated, and I am no longer fit for being a leader (although I doubt I ever was).

So - again following the best Star Trek guidelines "the needs of the many outweight the needs of the few, or the one" - I take a step back and let everybody else, the ones with the better ideas, to take my place. I'll support them without pestering them with my stale and obsolete way of thinking.
Don't ask me why things are going the way they are because I don't know. And if I do, chances are the answers will be the wrong ones.

In the meanwhile I'll cure my frame of mind - first step: psychiatric examination next week.

The longest night

August 13th is and will always be the longest day for me, as this night between January 1st and 2nd is and will always be the longest night.

I can't help but grieve, more than I grieve every day of the year, and listen to some of the songs that better describe my mood...

730 days without you... and counting.