Book of memories and alternative dimensions

I was reading your thoughts written on the "book of memories" for Alberto, and I had already used three tissues when I stumbled in a misbecoming and rude remark, which in turn invited another couple of sorry remarks.

Ciao Alberto, a nice idea but honestly one should be more serious. I practically threw away 12 €.  
I agree // It would be better if you put your full name, thanks.

In reading it I continued crying, but tears of emotion turned into tears of rage because these people were cowardly using a book of memories for a sterile controversy! Fortunately, the next remarks followed the first rule of common sense: do not feed the trolls! And I immediately felt better!
Nonetheless, it was a bitter moment. A tear in the fabric of reality when I realised that not everybody understands what it means to belong to the convention, to belong to the multiverse of friendship and respect and diversity we are.

The convention (and we still have to find the right name to encompass STICCON, YavinCon and Italcon) is a pocket of life outside the space-time continuum of everyday's reality, a place where the bitterness and adversities of our lives are shut out the airlock and we can enjoy each other's company.
It's a way of recharging our batteries, of living, for a fleeting moment, in those future utopias we all strive for. Those alternative dimensions we dream of, full of hopes and values and morals.

During this convention I got confirmation of what my priorities are (and you know them already as they are written in this blog) and what I'm living this half a life for. Your friendship and your support is priceless, and indeed you have added at least three months to my "real" life. I could not carry on if it wasn't for you!

"Thank you" are too simple words to express my gratitude, but I know you know I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

As a side note, that's also why I decided to accept all friendship request on Facebook - providing that we met at least once in the flesh, because only in the flesh we can smile to each other, pat on our backs and feel the warmth of a hug!

Birthdays

This will be a very short entry, 'cause I'm busy preparing the only event I will be part of to the end of my days: the Star Trek Italian Club convention!

This should have been a momentous year for Alberto and me, and if he was still alive we probably would have celebrated our turning 50. But Alberto is not here, and I don't feel like celebrating anything.

So, no birthdays celebrations, thank you.
No wishes, no congratulations, no presents, please.

Especially no presents: I'm busy finding a new home for things in the house as it is, the last thing I need are things that would remind me of what could have been joyful moments but are not.

Please, if don't want to hurt me, don't remind me of my birthday in any way, And more so... don't ever remind me of Alberto's birthday!

Ammiraglio Cloud - Descriptions in Italian

Friends and family first!
I will update the list regularly adding items and deleting those no longer available. I know some of these are gifts, and allegedly you bring bad luck to your life if you give away gifts... well... tell me about bad luck again?!

[Updated on July 19th]

Chitarra Foll acquistata nel 1981. Le corde sono (ovviamente!) da cambiare. Ha una crepa nel legno, ma il suono e' ancora pieno e profondo.

Poltroncina segretaria. Cinque gambe, rivestita in stoffa lavabile. Regolabile in altezza. Usata da Gabriella per anni alla postazione "secondaria" color ocra.

L'ultima macchinetta per il caffé espresso di Alberto, usata per l'ultima volta la sera del 2 gennaio 2013. Può fare uno o due caffé alla volta, sia con caffé in polvere che con cialde. Ha beccuccio per il cappuccino e ago apposito per sturare i filtri. Dotata di stantuffo di sicurezza per controllare l'acqua e con una pallina bianca alimentare per il controllo dell'acqua nel serbatoio.

Schiaccianoci più contenitore: lo abbiamo usato solo durante le feste di fine anno 2012.

Il Decimo Dottore, Rose e i Cybermen della Cybus.
Completo e con scatola originale.

È rimasto appeso sulle scale di casa per anni, il colore è quello originale anche se il cartone si è un po' seccato con il passare degli anni.

Aperto e cominciato nelle feste di fine 2012, ma mai finito.

Mantellina e maschera (e anche la tromba!) del Robot di "The Christmas Invasion" (Doctor Who). Mantellina in pile leggero, maschera e tromba in cartapesta (la tromba e' molto "vissuta"!).

Costume fatto in casa di Obi-Wan Kenobi da "La minaccia fantasma". Indossato per varie anteprime, convention ed eventi nel 1999. Ho trovato gli "stivali", da qualche parte c'e' anche la cintura!

Costume fatto in casa di Darth Maul da "La minaccia fantasma". Indossato (non da me, ne' da Alberto!) per varie anteprime, convention ed eventi nel 1999. Completo di guanti. Purtroppo maschera e stivali non sono miei.

Mantello fatto in casa in cotone e raso. Usato come mantello di Darth Maul da "La minaccia fantasma" nel 1999. Riadattato come mantello da MagaGabe nel 2002 e indossato per eventi e convention a tema Harry Potter. Completo di gufo applicabile sulla spalla. All'interno di una manica c'e' la tasca portabacchetta.

Bacchetta in stile Harry Potter realizzata a mano dal bricomago Finarfin (chi lo conosce sa della sua maestria!). Sarebbe diventata la seconda bacchetta di MagaGabe dal 2012...

La bacchetta originale di MagaGabe realizzata da Finarfin.

More to come!

Hocruxes (aka Plan B)

I need not to add more to the title. It's been a very hard thing to do, but unlike in the Harry Potter books the only victim in collecting these objects has been my soul. Soon the first pieces of me will be on display online for you to take and cherish. Family and friends will have "priority", but everybody will be able to contact me via Twitter, Facebook or via email.

I won't put any price, because everything is subject to negotiation and being not too trusty in the Italian postal service, I will not send anything: you either come and get the stuff you want or I can bring them to you during conventions or other events.
One last thing: for the time being you will not see Star Trek related items... that will take a greater toll on my soul and I need a bit more time to get used to the idea of the "Ammiragliato Cloud"!

A few more days and the first pictures will be yours to evaluate.
Thank you, always!

Premio Italia 2014

A good friend of mine, almost one year ago, said to me that I have to be the voice of the STIC now that Alberto is gone. So, after much personal brooding, I decided I have to say something about Premio Italia, although this is not an official STIC announcement.
There is a deadline, on 23:59 next Friday, March 21st, and these are my thoughts, bear that in mind while reading.

Alberto cared about the Premio Italia and wanted it to reach out for more Italian science fiction and fantasy fans, bacause he knew a good slice of fans do not even know what the Premio Italia is. All those who are born and raised as media SF fans, those who watch TV series and movies and - although avid readers - are more attracted to costume contests than to literary conferences, know nothing about it. Alberto worked hard as a negotiator to open up the audience of the Premio Italia and the results are that now every single participant in the latest two editions of the Bellaria convention (STICCON, Italcon, YavinCon etc) is a voter. Writers and cosplayers alike!

I must say that I appreciate the fact that the voters are fans, readers, the general public, but as in any voting system, most of the time the works and the persons awarded ends up being friends of the voters.
There is nothing wrong in it: it is human to favour your friends when you know they have done something worthy of attention. What's wrong is when you expect others not to vote for who's not your friend.
Fair play means you support your team, but cheers when the adversary defeats you. Fair play is when you shake the hand of your opponent and pat his back for having been better than you. Fair play is expecting your rival to do the same!

So, to cut a long story short, I spent the last few days thinking about Premio Italia and wondering about whether to suggest or not some names in the first nominations stage, and to vote or not in the two stages that will name the winners. I was trying to be fair and impartial, and most of all not to fall in the pit of unfair play.
The only conclusion that allows me to have a clear conscience is that... I will not let Alberto's work go awry, I will participate, I will nominate those works and persons I personally know and appreciate.

I will be translating this in Italian for my Facebook profile, but make no mistakes: this is not something you have to read or agree with - this is just my personal votes.

ARTISTA
Giacomo Pueroni
Luca Pavan
Luca Oleastri

CURATORE
Filippo Rossi
Francesco Miranda

TRADUTTORE
Stefania Bronzoni
Jessica Farella
Paola Cartoceti

COLLANA
Collana Ragazzi, Fanucci Editore

RIVISTA PROFESSIONALE
Fantasy & Science Fiction, Elara

RIVISTA NON PROFESSIONALE
Fondazione
Colony Post

SITO WEB AMATORIALE O RIVISTA ONLINE AMATORIALE
IKS, http://www.klinzha.it/
Yavin 4 Fan Club, http://www.yavinquattro.net
WSFI, http://www.worldsf.it/

OPERATORE ARTISTICO (NON IN ALTRE CATEGORIE)
Marcello Rossi, organizzatore STICCON e Reunion
Massimo Romani, organizzatore STICCON e Reunion
Marco Pesaresi, organizzatore STICCON e Reunion

ARTICOLO SU PUBBLICAZIONE PROFESSIONALE
Le prime immagini di Into Darkness, Alberto Lisiero e Gabriella Cordone, Ultimo Avamposto Editore
Doppiaggio nell'oscurità, Gabriella Cordone Lisiero, (Ultimo Avamposto Editore)
Facebook, ultima frontiera, Massimiliano Martini, (Ultimo Avamposto Editore)

ARTICOLO SU PUBBLICAZIONE AMATORIALE
The Day of the Doctor, Massimo Luciani, http://netmassimo.com/2013/11/24/doctor-who-the-day-of-the-doctor/

ROMANZO O ANTOLOGIA PERSONALE INTERNAZIONALE
Star Trek Into Darkness, Alan Dean Foster, Ultimo Avamposto Editore
Doctor Who Shada, Douglas Adams, Mondadori
Doctor Who Toccato da un angelo, Jonathan Morris, Asengard

My selfish pain

I don't have the right to have everybody preoccupied? I can't be still in pain after more than a year?
Well, people... think again. And welcome to the new me!
I am a selfish person who cannot shake the pain and thus have no control over whether you're worried or not.
I learned how to fake a smile (as I wrote earlier in this blog), but I cannot fake happiness. I am sad. I lost my life when Alberto died and I will cry for it 'till the end of my days.
I learned how to hide my tears, but sometime (like yesterday and today) in order to hide them I have to shut down the rest of the world. I stayed in my bed, crying, sleeping, watching TV. I didn't answers calls. I didn't replied to emails.
So what?
As I said... welcome to the new me: the selfish person with a selfish (and never-ending) pain.
Get used to it!

It's never too late to learn

The first day...
I put my things in a cupboard and started a new "life" that could have lasted for long - helping a friend to take care of her elderly grandad. I started living in another home to be on the job 24/7.

After a week...
I learned that being a caregiver is not like any other job: you give up your life entirely to live with the rhythm of another human being. It's your job to nullify your own needs for the other's needs. You become a robot whose main concern is to wait for orders. It's not something I ever experience before and, I must admit, for a few days I felt blessed: to have no independent thought in my mind was soothing and relaxing. I was reduced to nothing and I liked it.
Except at night, at a time that in my past life we would probably have called "early evening". I fell onto the bed, tired and hoping to sleep, but with my mind wide awake brooding about the outer world, and about everything I lost over a year ago. Everything I still miss so much that my breath stops and my vision blurs and my chest shrinks in pain until I cannot hold my tears any longer.

After two weeks...
I learned that I needed something very badly. The smell of my home, the touch of my forniture, seeing all that was Alberto's around me.
I discovered this much in the few hours I've been at home and I could not help but feel exhilarated! Seeing our pictures, our DVDs and books, and magazines, our TV set, our bed, his pillow... I was truly, uncontrollably giggling!
I became perfectly aware this is the first sign of an addiction, and I accepted it: I'm addicted to mementos of my old life. Without my "Linus blanket" I cannot function.

So, after almost three weeks...
I know what to do. I learned.
I have to go back home!
If I can't feel good (because I am unable to feel good anymore!) I can decide not to feel bad!

Besides, I have a couple of things that are waiting for me at home, beyond home itself - one possible job and a job that I have to force my mind to do.

The possible job has been like a bolt from the blue. When I saw it among dozens of possible positions, I could not believe it. They were recruiting in the very same printing factory Alberto and I used for some issues of the Inside Star Trek Magazine, for Ultimo Avamposto books, or STIC's roll-ups and banners... and many other things.
To be interviewed for a place I know nearly every product of has been fantastic, the mere chance to be able to work there is thrilling! I truly hope I'll land the job and start the 30-something minutes commute!

And there is the... journey-back-in-time-job. The only thing that will keep me from succeeding is... me! I am the only one who has to find the strenght to write for comics as I did 15 years ago. Thanks to Antonio, who is still believing in me, I will write my name as an author of Bonelli's "Agenzia Alfa". Except I will be alone this time. There will be no Alberto Lisiero & Gabriella Cordone... just me.

Bottom line...
I learned what I need. By being away. And now I know that I won't accept any job that brings me away from home, unless it's paid so much that I can go back every weekend to inhale my old life!