A job I can't do... But I must

I'm crying out loud at the mere thought... I'll have to keep myself in check that day...

To make a wedding video was the only job I knew I could not do anymore, since the very first day Alberto died, I knew that I could never again be able to enter a church or watch a bride to go to the altar...

But I have not worked since June and I have no money in my bank anymore, so I must do it. It will break my spirit, but I have bills to pay...

Why, of all the job I want to do, cleaning public toilets included, I had to land this one? Why?

Another year without music

My life with you has been like being part of an outdoor concert. We were playing together and the music was marvellous. It was pleasing for us before being pleasing to the audience.
We were so happy to play that everything surrounding us was just background noise - the rumbling of storms passing by, the murmurs of people who wasn't listening to our music, the singing of birds attuned to our melody.
Then without a reason, just because destiny was cruel to us, you lost your instrument - your body stood still, not able to express our music anymore.
The wonderful music ended abruptly.

Now I keep playing, but my melody is distorted - just like a chord without a fundamental note. It's not complete. And the background noises have become oppressive, sharp, so overwhelming that I cannot play anymore.
And I wait.
I wait the moment when you will play again with me. I wait trying not to hear the noise of thunderstorms, of uninterested people... I just listen every now and then to birds, trying to give them at least some notes on to which they can sing.

And I will always wait for you.
Happy birthday, Alberto.
All my love, forever and beyond.

I'm almost out of the tunnel

First of all... It's not over yet. I have to go through a series of procedures and wait much longer to be completely free: Italian burocracy walks at a very slow pace and after almost four months I still have not seen a cent.

But last April 14th, finally I had some justice.

Mauro Enea, the financial advisor who cheated on Alberto and me has been sentenced to two years in prison and to refund us 70.000 euro.

Since 2007, he had been taking our money for his own business instead of using - as per our instruction - to pay our taxes.
Thanks to my new financial advisor Alberto Barbagallo, and my lawyer, Lanfranco Sette, both in Latisana, I was able to have justice. My complaint was taken more than seriously by the Carabinieri and despite some prorogues, the judge was strong in his sentence.

April 14th had been a testing day for me - and it's been an effort not to crush under the tension. Tears were in my eyes all the time, and after the sentence I went to the bathroom and cried loudly for some time.

Besides the final act of this long trial, I had another emotional moment. While we were waiting for the judge to decide the sentence, my lawyer asked me why I was still not able to go on with my life.
The only answer I could give was "It's not easy because I'm still madly in love with Alberto!"

Nothing will bring him back to me, and my wound will never be healed, but now I can look forward to transform our house into a museum to remember everything Alberto was and did in life.

Not in the next few months, maybe not in the next few years. But I will...